October 2007

Monthly Archive

October 12, 2007

Where Does Love Come From?

Posted by xarjj under Self Growth
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The biggest life-changing decision any of us could make is a decision to be happy. Once the decision is made, what is the next step? Training ourselves to focus on everything and anything which feels good. For example: good thoughts, exciting desired outcomes, dreams, happy movies, and beautiful surroundings. It may take some effort to pry ourselves away from the stickiness of feeling badly, but joy and love are possible. To feel good, we need to focus on feeling good. 

Love is a consuming passion for our own happiness. It is a choice we make to be excited, safe, secure. Love and joy are available when we decide we are important. To decide means to conclude. Not based on any proof or accomplishment and not waiting for some magical moment when someone gives permission. Simply deciding who we are and what we want is important. The decision could be made right now, in this moment. There’s no need to lose ten pounds first or achieve the next goal. We decide when we give ourselves permission to decide.

Love is available when we connect with dreams and flow with empowering thoughts. Love is an inner state of being which develops as we decide it is alright to create an exciting, sensuous and enticing partnership with ourselves. It deepens as we align with desired outcomes and focus attention on what feels good. Excitement builds power. This power is necessary to feel good, to move through obstacles, to successfully manifest dreams. Self-love allows the ability to resist the temptation to give away power the moment it is received. Instead, relish in it, feel its vibration, connect it with personal dreams and desires. Ask for more. Trust yourself with power, for who other than you knows what best to do with this power? Feel good in the power, excited in the imaginings of a great life. So much more power is available once we are ready to believe we matter. Love and joy are feelings we allow into us. We become filled with love and our confidence, joy and radiance illuminates our lives and the lives of others.

Self-Love
Self-love is not so much a feeling as it is an absence of self-doubt and self-disapproval. It is a sense of balance and belonging. Respect, responsibility for self, and feeling good are important values. Self-love means that your well-being matters to yourself unconditionally and in practical terms. The following are some characteristics of self-loving people:

Self-loving people focus on feeling good.
Self-loving people allow themselves to be happy and to share this with others.
Self-loving people tend to treat themselves well.
They see fun and enjoyment as a primary goal most of the time.
They do not remain in mistreatment by others.
They are caring towards others. (Because it feels good to do so).
They put themselves first. (Even those they love are a “close second.”)
They find a thought that feels good, and practice it.
They let themselves succeed.

Basic Principles of Self Love
Who we are is more important than what we are.
We are valuable. Nothing can change that.
What we want always matters.

How to Develop and Nurture Love:
Becoming love involves intention. A declaration to self, to the universe, to earth or to the angels, we want to know what it is to feel unconditionally loved and supported. We want to be alive on earth, but only if it feels good and exciting. An intention that we want to know, in this lifetime, while we are alive in this body, what it means to stand in unconditional love, having enough energy to do the things we love.
The biggest life changing decision any of us could make is a decision to be happy. Once the decision is made, what is the next step? Training ourselves to focus on everything and anything which feels good. For example: Good thoughts, exciting desired outcomes, dreams, happy movies and beautiful surroundings. It may take some effort to pry ourselves away from the stickiness of feeling badly, but joy and love are possible. To feel good we need to focus on feeling good. Below are some examples of how to develop love:

Acknowledge and verbally praise yourself.
Have fun often.
Fill the physical body with relaxation.
Think inspiring thoughts.
Focus on desired outcomes.
Fill life with silence, beautiful music, flowers.
Reward yourself often.
Have confidence in your ability.
Love your body and find new ways to inhabit it.
Listen to, and trust, intuition.
Let yourself succeed.
Nurture yourself by imagining desired outcomes to life’s situations.
Offer yourself affection.
Choose to think thoughts that bring inner peace (rather than worry).
Remember and feel gratitude.

On this day, engage in a love challenge and help yourself understand a deeper loving connection. Zoom way out and see a big picture perspective of your relationship with yourself, your body, your thoughts and dreams. Do you think you behave lovingly toward yourself? Do you focus on happy thoughts, desired outcomes? What is something you could commit to right now, in this moment, to bring yourself greater love?By Dr. Annette Colby, RD: http://www.lovingmiracles.com/

 

October 12, 2007

Art of Being Happy

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The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things. – Henry Ward Beecher

 

October 7, 2007

Leadership Principles in a Changing Workplace

Posted by xarjj under Management
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Change in the workplace is accelerating. Technology development and
infusion into new products is almost a daily event. Companies are in
endless pursuit to drive costs down to become more competitive.
Rightsizing, downsizing, reorganization with layoffs are the norm.
Changes driven by Six Sigma or Continuous Improvement are commonplace
events. Global competitive pressures require new thinking,
redeployments, and radical new ways of conducting business. The
workplace is filled with the turmoil of change, and many people question
the value of these changes. In this article, I will examine the changing
workplace, leadership principles, and present a call to action.

The Changing Workplace

Change is and has been a universal constant. Civilizations have risen
and fallen. The Wild West in America was tamed and populated. The model
T Ford was mass produced and made an affordable means of transportation.
Refrigerators were invented, and the ice box became history. Men
traveled to the moon and back. Computers and the Internet shrunk the
world. Moore’s law promises even greater leaps in productivity, quality
of life, and unimagined changes.

Humans adapt well to change over the long-term. The short-term is
another story. Many people exert a measure of effort and work to achieve
some status, goal, or outcome in life. When they arrive, they hold the
belief that they have earned their way, and now life owes them. They
often become comfortable, content, relaxed, complacent, and stagnant.
All the while, changes occur around them, slowly making their skills,
competencies, and value obsolete. Others embrace change, race to be in
front of the wave of innovation, and find energy and opportunity in
their world of work. I have described two different types of people. One
person rests on their laurels unconcerned with change. The other person
exercises effective personal leadership to adapt to change.

Leadership Principles

Principles are comprehensive and fundamental laws or rules. Researching
leadership principles, I found that the Marine Corps had listed 11.
Other organizations had similar lists. Examining and organizing them, I
discovered that effective leadership principles in the changing world
are actually unchanging. They are constants of the universe just like
change. People have been exercising effective leadership principles in a
changing workplace since the dawn of time. Here are the timeless
leadership principles I have identified.

Life Vision
Human beings are endowed with unlimited potential and greatness. They
limit their development, what they enjoy, and the success they achieve
by what they learn and how they think about work and life. Ignorance is
the enemy of people developing and enjoying greater success. Destroying
ignorance is called self-development, personal growth, building personal
leadership, or developing mastery of your job and life. This requires
knowing yourself, seeking wisdom, and forming a vision of what you can
become. That vision is essential in breaking free from the routines of
work and life that trap many people. That vision must include embracing
change.

Guiding Values
When you don’t know what you value, then anything that comes along
catches your eye and diverts you from your vision. List all the things
that are important to you. I’ll bet there are upwards of 100 or more.
Don’t worry, I had the same problem. Organization being one of my
strengths and over several years of work, I finally found three
foundational values to guide my work and life. They are:

Integrity. Keep every commitment that you make, even those you make to
yourself. Be honest, honorable, truthful, self-disclosing, trustworthy,
and authentic.

Stewardship. Be responsible and accountable for every resource you
manage, be responsive, and develop/grow as a person. Manage your money,
time, attitude, and people in your life to achieve the very best
results. Exercise courage and risk where it counts.

Love. Love is the greatest power that exists in the universe. Love,
accept, and nurture yourself first. That equips you to love, serve, and
share with your fellow human beings. This means extending unconditional
respect, dignity, and fairness to everyone. It’s about having gratitude,
appreciation, and awe for everything at work and in your life.

Purpose
Every person arrives on this earth to fulfill a specific purpose. That
purpose is unique and essential to the proper functioning and evolution
of the earth. Finding your unique purpose is critical to working with
your natural gifts and competencies. If you discover your purpose, your
work and life will become seamless and easy. Your life will be filled
with more joy and happiness.

Mission
What you do at work and in life is called your mission. You fill certain
roles like husband or wife, father or mother, provider for your family,
homemaker, business leader, or manager. In each role you provide
specific services. Looking over all the services, some common themes may
emerge. Your mission may also include the quality of your services like
the standard of “excellence.”

Call to Action

If you are clear about the vision for your life, then you will be
learning, growing, and seeking greater wisdom. In pursuing your vision,
you will develop more of your unlimited potential and greatness and
serve your fellow human beings more effectively. Identifying and knowing
your guiding values helps you stay on course during your journey.
Without clear values you will wander aimlessly and arrive wherever.
Getting in touch with your purpose gives you the big “why you exist.”
Knowing that, your journey has great value and can fill you with
enthusiasm and passion. Becoming clear about your work and life roles,
the services that you provide, and the standards of your toil, make your
work and life meaningful and important to yourself and other people.

Embracing these leadership principles will equip you to adapt and even
embrace the changes that are ever present in the workplace. Without this
solid foundation of personal leadership, change becomes an obstacle to
creating the life you were meant to live. Developing personal leadership
skills and competencies will assure that you ride the wave of change and
opportunity. Embracing change, thriving on it, and growing as a person
will assure an exciting workplace and life filled with success, joy, and
happiness.

How are you doing? Evaluate yourself in these areas. If you find that
there is a need to change, you have a choice. Stay the way you are or
find a way to develop more effective personal leadership and live the
life you were meant to live. The choice is yours.

By Joe Farcht: the founder and president of Leadership Advantage, Inc.
http://www.leadershipadvantageinc.com.

 

October 7, 2007

Wisdom, Light, and Darkness

Posted by xarjj under Quotes
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We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the
responsibility for our future.

- George Bernard Shaw, 1856-1950, Irish Dramatist and Literary Critic

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the
darkness because it shows me the stars.

- Og Mandino, 1923-1996, American Motivational Author and Speaker

We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a
journey that no one can take for us or spare us.

- Marcel Proust, 1871-1922, French Novelist

 

October 1, 2007

5 Ways To Increase The Joy In Your Relationships

Posted by xarjj under Life
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Usually we enter relationships hoping they will make us happy. We hope that this one is the right one, that we are not repeating mistakes of the past, and that finally we will receive the love, support and companionship we have been seeking.

Although this approach to relationships is normal, it usually brings disappointment because happiness comes and goes. It has to, because happiness depends upon circumstances. When things go well, we are happy. When we get what we want, when the sun is shining, others value us, our boyfriend finally pops the question, these are moments of happiness.

Joy is different. It doesn’t come and go, or depend upon outer circumstances. When things are difficult, when our hopes are not fulfilled, it is still possible to feel joyful. Joy is a positive decision we have made about ourselves, and others. It involves taking responsibility for our lives and relationships. How much joy do you have in your love life? Here are five ways to find joy in relationships:

Stop Blaming Your Partner for Your Disappointments

When we’re in a relationship, it’s very easy to fall into blaming our partner for our disappointments, but it’s one of the most significant ways we destroy our own joy and peace of mind. It is also one of the biggest ways we undermine the other person.

If you want to find more joy in your relationship, realize that if you are upset, it does not necessarily mean that something is wrong with your partner. Finding joy in a relationship comes down to understanding that it is your own expectations that have disappointed you. When we do not put heavy expectations on our partners, but are willing to spend time getting to know them and discover who they are, blame dissolves more easily. Other people have the right to be who they are and to express it. Your partner has not been put on this earth to make you happy. No one can do that, except you, yourself. Your partner is here to share life with, to learn to be open, accepting and to grow.

Discover the Art of True Giving

There is a huge difference between giving to another and giving so you can get something back in return. When we are secretly waiting for what’s in it for us, this is nothing more than manipulation. On the other hand, joy is based upon true giving. When we learn to give sincerely, it is almost impossible to be upset. The giving itself is its own return.

True giving means generosity with no strings attached. It’s giving your partner something that he would like, not something that pleases you. It means taking time to know the person and being willing to meet his needs. Some people fear giving, feeling that they will be drained or stripped bare. But the opposite is true. The more we give, the more we have. Giving brings a sense of fullness and kindness, the basis for the development of joy.

There are many things that can be given, everything from time and attention to acknowledging what makes you happy in the relationship. Want to put this plan into action? Make a list of all the things you could give your partner. Then make a list of the things you’d like him to give you. When you see these two lists side by side, you’ll be amazed. See if you can give your partner what they want, regardless of whether they can do the same for you.

Give Up Trying to Change the Other Person

The incessant desire to fix or change the other person is one of the biggest thieves of joy. Plus, it causes power struggles within relationships and issues of control. One person feels she cannot love the other unless the other changes. The other feels hurt, inadequate and as though something is wrong with him.

Finding joy in a relationship means having the ability to love your partner as they are. Our partners have been put here to grow, develop and discover who they are. This can be a lengthy and challenging process. But the surprising thing about change is that the less we push and disapprove of others, the more easily and naturally they grow and change.

Learn How to Really Listen

There is no better way of giving to another than really listening. Most of the time we hear what our partners are saying, but have no idea how to listen. Listening involves getting out of your own mind and truly being there with the other person. It means stopping the little voice inside your head (the one that always comments or thinks about what it is going to say next). It means stopping the inner arguer and becoming quiet and available. When you really listen to another, in that moment, you have given up your own expectations of what you want them to say or to be, and are able to be present for them. This is an enormous gift you are giving. In fact, to many, being really listened to feels like being loved.

Give Up Trying to Change the Other Person

The incessant desire to fix or change the other person is one of the biggest thieves of joy. One person feels she cannot love the other unless that person changes. The other feels hurt, inadequate and as though something is wrong with him. The person who wants the change to happen becomes more and more frustrated as the other one withdraws or refuses to change for her. That’s where the phrase, “if you loved me enough you would change,” comes from.

Finding joy in a relationship means having the ability to love your partner as they are here to grow, develop and discover who they are. This can be a lengthy and challenging process. But the surprising thing about change is that the less we push and disapprove of others, the more easily and naturally they change.

Develop Patience

Patience is an old-fashioned word in today’s world.. However, there is no way to rush growth in relationships or in the development of joy. If you’re eager to get on the right track, there are two ways to get started: Learn how to be more giving and make an effort to be a better listener. But each one of these tasks takes time to master — and patience. That’s why it is necessary to realize that as we are, right now at this moment, we are lovable and acceptable. If you’re ready to increase the amount of joy you feel in your own relationship, take back the responsibility for finding joy in your life, you will be pleased at the results.

By Dr Brenda Shoshanna, the Official Guide To Relationship Advice