Joy Yang’s Blog

– James A. Garfield, 1831-1881, 20th President of the United States

It is really a matter of following a few simple principles in life.

1. Humility
In simplicity this means that you should spend less than you earn but the philosophy is much more important to understand and appreciate. The philosophy implies humility. To be less materialistic and more meaningful in life is the underlying idea here.

2. Honor
Do you honor your commitments? If so, then the universe will have a way of honoring you back. If you do what you promise, then others will do the same for promises they make to you. This may not seem to be the case in the short run, but it is always the case in the long run.

3. Obligation Free
Financially this means that you have no debt. Morally this means that you don’t owe anyone anything that was due to them and not delivered. If you follow this principle morally, the financial result of being debt free will come automatically.

4. Presence
You have an awareness to live in the presence and not in the past or in the future. You are concentrating on the task at hand and not the baseball game next Saturday. There is no advantage to think of the past or future (except to learn or to plan) therefore focus your concentration in the present.

5. Skeptic
You do not believe everything at first sight for the eyes often deceive. You go looking under the covers to find more meaning and understand things deeper.

6. Youth
You are able to retire young, at least at 50. This comes from a mindset that you have to determine a long time before about your age and your goals. The more you focus on your youthfulness, the more ‘youthful’ you will be when you achieve your financial goals.

- Dorothy L. Sayers, 1893-1957, English Mystery Author

In my defense, I am a man. I don’t like clothes-shopping to begin with, and when you throw in the extra step of having to try things on, I get to a point where I’d gladly plunk down my credit card on an ill-fitting clown suit, if I thought it would get me out of the store faster.

But the real mistake was taking the pants home, cutting off the tags and then deciding they don’t really fit. Now I’m stuck with them, and despite having spent the better part of this week trying to convince myself that they’re okay, I know I am a liar.

In my experience (and in this case, I don’t think it applies to just men) most of us settle on a profession in about the same way. We wander around, try a few things on, and, if we find something we can squeeze into, we take it.

Unfortunately, and based on emails, phone calls and cups of coffee with lots of working people, there are way too many of us just tolerating work, instead of thriving in it. We have, in effect, cut the tags off before finding a good fit.

Which brings me to Michael Jordan. Here’s a guy who, in his 13 years as a professional basketball player, won just about every award imaginable in that sport; he’s arguably the best ever to walk the face of the Earth. So much so that if you were to describe the attributes of the ideal basketball player, you’d more or less describe Jordan, up to and including his winning personality, which made him ideal for product endorsements.

But here’s the key question: Was he really that extraordinary as a human being, or was he just lucky? Lucky, in the sense that the things that came naturally to him – height, speed, strength, intelligence, endurance, competitiveness, and a love of basketball – just happened to be a perfect fit for an existing profession?

I believe it’s more the latter. Sure he worked hard, but no more than you or I do. The fact is, if being unusually tall were a negative in basketball instead of the positive that it is, Jordan might have just turned out to be one more good-looking bald guy named Michael.

This next thing I’m about to say may sound like an exaggeration, but I don’t think it is.

I think we’re all Michael Jordans (or Bruce Springsteens or Donald Trumps, or anyone who’s had extraordinary success in a given field). The problem is that for most people, the unique package of skills, abilities and interests within each of us doesn’t fit perfectly and obviously into an existing profession. So we pick from among the available options and settle for good enough.

Or maybe we don’t. My view – after spending the first 20 years of my professional life in conventional jobs, being slightly successful doing things I slightly liked – is that the point of starting your own business is to create a custom-made occupation. A unique livelihood that pulls together all the things you love and are good at doing, into one basketball-dunking, crowd-pleasing, “Can I have your autograph please?” concoction. It sure beats working.

And so as you sit here thinking about 2007 – particularly if you’re not energized by what you’re doing every day – maybe it’s time to take a new approach.

In the coming year, why don’t we all spend a little less time straining to fit our idiosyncratic selves into an existing pair of pants, and a little more time thinking about a new wardrobe entirely… one that’s based on whatever natural talents and interests are uniquely our own.

Good news is that coping with anxiety doesn’t have to be hard and troublesome. There are some great techniques that can help you take control of anxieties and reduce everyday stress.

While coping with anxiety you will need both immediate measures and preventive measures. When combined those strategies may be very powerful in treating anxiety and taking control over your life.

Immediate measures while coping with anxiety.

If you are experiencing severe anxiety this is what you can do to relax and steady your heartbeat. First of all take control of your breathing, because the speed of your heartbeat depends directly on the speed of your breathing.

Here is a very helpful breathing technique. Close your eyes and take five slow deep breaths. Hold each breath for as long as your can and then slowly exhale.

Second step is to take control over your muscles. To do that stretch as many muscles as you can.
After that try to flex your body for ten seconds and then relax it. Repeat this exercise for about 5-10 times.

Focus your mind on immediate task to replace negative thoughts that are running through your head with the necessary ones. For example, you could repeat in your head your to-do list for the day or concentrate on your long-term plans (like vacation).

A lot of times all we have to do to reduce overall level of anxiety is to look at the situation objectively or “from the distance”. Nothing contributes more to anxiety like “what if” statements, when in reality we have to concentrate on “what is”. Counterattack each negative and fearful thought with the reality check.

Coping with anxiety also includes following preventive strategies:
1. Incorporate in your life more exercise like yoga or cardio workout. Exercise is wonderful outlet to anxiety. It increases feelings of well-being, boosts self-confidence and helps to fight depression and insomnia.

2. Spend at least 20 minutes of conscious relaxation every day. During this time you can take a walk at the park, watch a comedy, take a hot bath, play bowling with friends or listening to your favorite music on your way to work.

3. Make plans and set realistic goals. If you are constantly worried about some aspects of your life it solves nothing. You have to make a decision to change the situation you don’t like by taking an action. Only when you move towards your goal, you feel in control of your life.

4. Approach life with a sense of humor. Sincere laughter distracts the mind from worry and increases production of relaxation and happiness hormones called “endorphins”.

5. Express your feelings. Quite often people with anxiety disorders repress their feelings. Repressing emotions is similar to filling a glass with water. As soon as it fills up, water starts overflowing. Similar unexpressed feelings can turn into emotional explosions, anxiety and panic attacks. That is why it is a great idea to have someone with whom you can discuss your worries and fears. It may be a friend or a professional counselor.

6. Particular diet can do both help you in coping with anxiety or provoke it. For example, herbs like Kava, ginseng or milk thistle enable the body to relax physically and mentally. When substances like caffeine, alcohol, nicotine and excess sugar can be very powerful boosters of anxiety attacks and should be eliminated from your diet.
Eating healthy food and avoiding fast-food and snacks will help your body maintain the proper balance and avoid weakness that can contribute to anxiety attacks.

- Winston Churchill, 1874-1965, British Statesman and Prime Minister